One of my most popular blog posts to date is a post I wrote 2 ish years ago about the four month sleep regression. And I have learned so much since then. I’ve learned more about what causes the four month sleep regression, which I think helped us handle it a lot better the second time around.
What causes the four month sleep regression?
During 3-4 months, babies go through some huuuuge developmental changes. And one of these big changes is that their sleep cycles change to be like an adults sleep cycles. I’m not an expert on this, so I won’t pretend to be. But I do know that this change in sleep cycles makes it harder for them to sleep. But also, all of the developmental changes your baby is going through means that they need the sleep more than ever.
The thing that helped me understand all of this more than anything, was the Wonder Weeks app. They also have a book which I haven’t actually read, but I have the app and refer to it often! It is $2.99 to download, but absolutely worth it. It sets a calendar notification anytime Rosen is going to enter a new developmental leap, and gives me information on what to expect during the leap, as well as how long it is going to last.
Tools to get you through the sleep regression
I knew as soon as we hit the four month sleep regression. He went from sleeping 8-12 hour stretches at night and putting himself down, to treating bedtime like a nap. He would go down okay, but then would wake up 20 minutes later and be awake for houuurs. We would regularly not get him to sleep for the night until 10 or 11 pm. We spent way too long in this cycle. It just got worse and worse the longer it progressed.
Here’s the thing about sleep regressions. The first few nights, it feels like an anomaly. You just have to get through a few nights, and your baby will return to normal, right? I found myself cutting corners and doing anything I needed to get him to sleep. Which ended up making things way worse! Because it wasn’t an anomaly. It just kept getting worse.
Remaining Consistent
I wish I would’ve realized before the regression started how important it was to remain consistent. Now that Rosen is 5 months and we are officially out of the regression, we are having to completely re-sleep train him. Not that this is the necessary outcome after the sleep regression, but if we had stuck with our routines and practices, we would’ve had a much easier time for those few months.
A word on babywise
When Bastian was a baby, I read Babywise. It’s what my pediatrician recommended! And while I liked some of the things that it talked about, now that I’ve had more experience as a parent, there are a few things that I don’t use in practice. The biggest takeaway I had was the eat, wake, sleep cycle. However, when it comes to sleeping, Babywise is purposely very vague on sleep training in regards to crying. They say “crying won’t hurt your baby!” and basically leave it at that. They insinuate a few different timelines but they never outright talk about how much to let your baby cry. This made things really confusing for me. They essentially promote doing the Cry It Out method, but they don’t outright say it. I am personally against Cry It Out, and so this is something that didn’t sit right with me.
I did, however, love how much Babywise talks about teaching your baby independence. I truly believe that sleep training does teach your baby the problem solving skills they need to be well rounded person later in life. It can be really hard but I think it’s so important.
Taking Cara Babies
Shortly after Rosen was born, I came across Taking Cara Babies. Her gentle but effective methods really sat well with me. Her 3-4 month guide was so helpful during the sleep regression, and we just started her ABC’s of sleep for 5 months and up. She also shows all of the medical research and studies behind her guides, which gives me the peace of mind that I am doing the best possible thing for my baby.
What I’ve learned
I used to think that the sleep regression was a myth. But, having gone through it twice, I have much more peace of mind knowing that it is a developmental part of their life. It’s not just your baby refusing to sleep for the hell of it. Understanding the developmental side of it makes everything so much more bearable when you’re in the thick of it at 3 am for the 5th night in a row.